You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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