just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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