Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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