there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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