i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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