you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
