covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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