wakey wakey hands off snakey
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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