I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
