sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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