I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.