I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
