Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
