Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize