I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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