I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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