My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
