Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
