The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
