bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Randomize
