It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
