i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
