The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
