he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
