i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
