I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
well you can't waste a boner
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
