Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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