I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
