I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize