I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How naked do you want me to be?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
