We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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