we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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