turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
a search helicopter?!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
