No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
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It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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