How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
