I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
