I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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