Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
