dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is it because I queefed?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
