i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
