Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize