I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
