Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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