Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
