I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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