you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can I color on your dick again?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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