Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
