you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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