Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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