i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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