We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
