The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
