toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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