Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
