party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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