We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
