We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
