Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
