I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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