i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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